Janeane Garofolo Won’t Apologize for Being a Race Hustler

Originally posted at The Minority Report and RedState on 05/12/09

(major h/t to Aaron Gardner and Blue Collar Muse)


Janeane Garofalo is at it again. She still thinks we’re racist, and won’t apologize for it, gosh darn it. Well, I wouldn’t want her to; any apology she is capable of offering would be fake, and she’d probably spin it into more accusations concerning white hoods and cross-burnings in the Rose Garden. I don’t think round two of this sad battle really warrants an academic response, but in the interest of honor (and comedy), I’ll take a crack at it.

Darling Gigi~

I hear you’ve been saying some nasty things about my friends and me. Well, you go right on ahead and keep accusing us of racism (straight up) and hate speech and whatever else your shrunken prune of a brain can come up with. Really, it’s fine! If it makes you feel better about your political irrelevancy, feel free to have a go.

Oh yes, that’s right. Your political irrelevancy. I said it. Yes, I realize that you occasionally participate on various panels and whatnot, but if “you guys are all a bunch of RACISTS” is the best you can come up with, perhaps you should stick to stinking up 24 and leave the politics to those of us who are capable of opening our mouths without jumping the shark into crazy-town*.

I believe you wanted to know where we were for the last 8 years with regards to fiscal imprudence. Well, we were right here, doing just what we’re doing now: writing, speaking out, and behaving like grown ups instead of shrieking loons. (Let me know if you need me to slow down and explain what it means to behave like a grown up. I realize this might be difficult for you.) I think it’s obvious that conservatives are not exactly a protesty bunch. Personally, I’d rather write and debate with my peers; most of us are what Glenn Beck likes to call “reluctant activists.” Anyway, the whole tea party movement really exploded a few months ago, with Rick Santelli’s famous rant . It started as sort of a whim—after all, you DO know, in all your infinite wisdom, that “tea parties” have been springing up haphazardly for over a year, right?—but with Santelli’s help it grew into a public platform for conservatives who have been frustrated for years with the rampant spending that has quickly become the norm in Washington. Let me be clear: if Rick Santelli had made his rant a year and a half earlier, we would have been tea partying-hard a year and a half earlier. It’s that simple. My decision to participate was not a matter of my whiteness vs. Obama’s blackness, as much as you’d like to believe that was the case.

So you go ahead and say what you will about me, my friends here, and the conservative movement. But just keep one thing in mind for the next time you get up on your soapbox: to the far-left base you identify with, you might come across as a no-holds-barred culture warrior, but to the conservative base you hate, you are vapor. We are too dedicated to the success and future of this country to allow the ranting of a few hateful trolls to distract us.

The funny thing is, all it took was a little conservative ranting to distract a patriot like you.

Just a thought.

Your Pal,

*”Jumping the shark into crazy-town” is hereby defined as: “The practice of the Left, when dealing with any issue or event of substance, to refer to Right wing opponents of said issue or event in over-the-top, irrelevant and hyperbolic terms such as ‘racist’, ‘Nazi’, ‘jack-booted thug’, ‘domestic terrorist’ and a host of other flamboyant and incorrect terms”. (definition courtesy of Blue Collar Muse)


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